Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Ming the Terrible!
***PLEASE NOTE*** This post contains material some may find offensive
I have played organized sports since I was about 5 years old. I have been a member of one gym or another since the 7th grade. I played high school football. I preface my story by telling you this so you know that I have spent a lot of time in locker rooms. That being said, I had the absolute most uncomfortable, disturbing experience today and it came at the hands of a man named Ming.
I am currentyl in training for the 2006 ING New York City Marathon. As part of my training, I hit the whirlpool and steam room three days a week as a sort of therapy to keep my body loose and healthy. I was at my gym this morning (I won't mention the name, but let's say it's the namesake of a popular '70s song by a group who would certainly relate to this story) in the steam room with one other fellow. He was a small Asian guy who was sitting across the room from me. As a courtesy I gave him his space -- as it turns out, personal space is not something this guy understands.
I was content to just close my eyes and relax for 10-15 minutes, but little did I know that would not happen. In broken English, the Chinese man asked me my name and age. I told him my name and that I was 24. He introduced himself as Ming. It quickly became apparent to me that he was asking me the only questions he knew how to ask in English. He asked if I was married and I told him "no." His response to this is what turned our conversation to a "GET OUT NOW" situation. He said, "No marriage, no f***". I was perplexed.
Did he really just say that to me?
I asked him to repeat and kept pretending like I didn't understand. I figured he would just get frustrated and stop. He did, so I closed my eyes thinking he would get the picture that I didn't want to talk anymore.
Nope.
He asked me how big I was. Seriously? Seriously! This is obviously all he knows how to say in English. I am annoyed, so I don't answer, but he guesses anyway. 200 pounds? I nod. And then it got weird ... really weird! He comes over to me and starts grabbing my stomach and chest to feel my muscles. I snapped at him. "HEY! NO!", I said. I got up and left assuming he got the picture that I was not happy and what he did was inappropriate. You just don't go grabbing half-naked men in steam rooms.
After I showered, I was drying my swimsuit when guess who comes walking up again. Ming the Terrible! Maybe I should call him Ming the Inappropriate. Now, NO LIE, he is intrigued by my chest hair. MY CHEST HAIR!
***This is where it gets offensive to some***
He tells me he has no chest hair, but shows me where he does have hair. He drops his towel! After the initial shock worse off I snapped my head away as quickly as possible. This guy was really showing me his pubic hair! Because I had a hairy chest, he wanted to see wanted to see mine.
Trust me when I tell you, there is no better way to piss off a hotheaded Italian that to try to pull some gay crap in the gym. He went for my towel and I raised my fist at him. He thought there must have been some misunderstanding. He said, "Me lookie," and went for my towel again. I screamed at him, "AMERICA! NO!" As if to say, "that crap don't fly here, MING!" I got out of there, but he still persisted!!
I was at my locker about to get dressed when I noticed him walking by. I stopped for a second and galred at him. I glared a glare that must have felt like fire burning through his soul. He kept walking, but I waited a second. Sure enough, he peeked his head around the corner again to see. He scrammed, I got dressed and hauled ass outta there.
Needless to say I will not be going back at that time ever again. Some cultures just do not understand the American concept of personal space. Absolutely the most disturbing, scarring event in my life. I was groped by a 140-pound Chinese man who doesn't speak English.
It is most definitely not fun to stay at the YMCA.
I have played organized sports since I was about 5 years old. I have been a member of one gym or another since the 7th grade. I played high school football. I preface my story by telling you this so you know that I have spent a lot of time in locker rooms. That being said, I had the absolute most uncomfortable, disturbing experience today and it came at the hands of a man named Ming.
I am currentyl in training for the 2006 ING New York City Marathon. As part of my training, I hit the whirlpool and steam room three days a week as a sort of therapy to keep my body loose and healthy. I was at my gym this morning (I won't mention the name, but let's say it's the namesake of a popular '70s song by a group who would certainly relate to this story) in the steam room with one other fellow. He was a small Asian guy who was sitting across the room from me. As a courtesy I gave him his space -- as it turns out, personal space is not something this guy understands.
I was content to just close my eyes and relax for 10-15 minutes, but little did I know that would not happen. In broken English, the Chinese man asked me my name and age. I told him my name and that I was 24. He introduced himself as Ming. It quickly became apparent to me that he was asking me the only questions he knew how to ask in English. He asked if I was married and I told him "no." His response to this is what turned our conversation to a "GET OUT NOW" situation. He said, "No marriage, no f***". I was perplexed.
Did he really just say that to me?
I asked him to repeat and kept pretending like I didn't understand. I figured he would just get frustrated and stop. He did, so I closed my eyes thinking he would get the picture that I didn't want to talk anymore.
Nope.
He asked me how big I was. Seriously? Seriously! This is obviously all he knows how to say in English. I am annoyed, so I don't answer, but he guesses anyway. 200 pounds? I nod. And then it got weird ... really weird! He comes over to me and starts grabbing my stomach and chest to feel my muscles. I snapped at him. "HEY! NO!", I said. I got up and left assuming he got the picture that I was not happy and what he did was inappropriate. You just don't go grabbing half-naked men in steam rooms.
After I showered, I was drying my swimsuit when guess who comes walking up again. Ming the Terrible! Maybe I should call him Ming the Inappropriate. Now, NO LIE, he is intrigued by my chest hair. MY CHEST HAIR!
***This is where it gets offensive to some***
He tells me he has no chest hair, but shows me where he does have hair. He drops his towel! After the initial shock worse off I snapped my head away as quickly as possible. This guy was really showing me his pubic hair! Because I had a hairy chest, he wanted to see wanted to see mine.
Trust me when I tell you, there is no better way to piss off a hotheaded Italian that to try to pull some gay crap in the gym. He went for my towel and I raised my fist at him. He thought there must have been some misunderstanding. He said, "Me lookie," and went for my towel again. I screamed at him, "AMERICA! NO!" As if to say, "that crap don't fly here, MING!" I got out of there, but he still persisted!!
I was at my locker about to get dressed when I noticed him walking by. I stopped for a second and galred at him. I glared a glare that must have felt like fire burning through his soul. He kept walking, but I waited a second. Sure enough, he peeked his head around the corner again to see. He scrammed, I got dressed and hauled ass outta there.
Needless to say I will not be going back at that time ever again. Some cultures just do not understand the American concept of personal space. Absolutely the most disturbing, scarring event in my life. I was groped by a 140-pound Chinese man who doesn't speak English.
It is most definitely not fun to stay at the YMCA.
# posted by Matt Moscona @ 2:16 PM 
